we're blogging at a bar
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
