At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
