Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
