I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she looked like the before picture.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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