I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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