Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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