shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it hurts more in the daytime
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
