oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize