my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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