I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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