Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize