What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
