I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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