she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just googled if crying burns calories
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
