We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
