physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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