I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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