im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
