it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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