Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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