Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
