I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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