HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
