I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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