Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize