I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
