Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
