On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
