And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
