i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize