There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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