Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dick very happy bro
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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