this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
