We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
