If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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