New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
