the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
