I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you have to choose: penises or morals?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
