don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
