so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
