The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
