i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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