after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
