i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
