Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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