Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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