I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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