I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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