U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
