called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
