I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
