he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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