Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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