were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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