I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
