just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
