just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
