Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
