Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
