we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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