did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
