Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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